Each morning before leaving the house, I used to check the weather channel to find out if I should wear a coat. But these days it truly doesn’t matter what the thermostat says….I won’t wear one anyway.
Because I am always hot.
The car thermostat could read 32 degrees and I’ll be turning the air conditioner full blast onto my sweltering face while my poor husband Bob, in the driver’s seat, quickly succumbs to hypothermia.
Yes, I have entered into the stage of life called “The Change”, also known as (cue the twilight zone music) MENOPAUSE!
Yes, menopause, where you finally get to say goodbye to your monthly “friend”. Except in my case, my “friend” didn’t want to exit my life as instantly as it had arrived.
Flashback to the 70s……………..
There I was, a gawky 12-year old cursed with huge glasses, braces, and a well-endowed body that had “blossomed” much faster that my flat chested friends. I woke up one morning, visited the bathroom as usual, looked down and behold, I had made a new “friend”.
When I was a little girl, I used to notice a few of the older women at church sitting next to their husbands, and they looked like a pair of older men, one with a wig. So, I asked my Mom why this was, and she tried to tactfully explain menopause to me, and how some women can lose their feminine traits…my poor mother! This stuck with me though, and then when I grew 4 inches in the summer of my 16th birthday, from 5’4” to 5’8”, I was suddenly a tall person and still without my period. That came later that year.
Fast forward to growing a couple inches taller after 18, with some athletic physicality, and now I was watching Maude on Golden Girls, (and I apologize to Bea Arthur for this), thinking I would eventually be a big, tall man one day!
This is my joke I share with my husband, who is a bit older than I, and says he’ll be too blind to notice anything at that point in time, and laughs when I ask about people thinking I’m his younger, taller brother. I know…I go overboard on this.