MY FIRST PERIOD

My name is Leanne, I’m 20, and have Asperger Syndrome.  Like every other woman in the world, I get my period every month.  Although I’m not a teen or preteen anymore, I do remember what it was like.

This article can be helpful to parents of a daughter with a disability or people who work with people with special needs such as special education teachers, speech/language therapists, occupational therapists, psychiatrists, or other people whose jobs require close contact with people with disabilities.  So please read on because some of what I’m about to mention might help both you and your daughter.

My mom and I read a book about puberty and periods when I was about 9 years old.  She and I had both noticed that I was starting to develop on the outside, so she knew that it was possible that I could get my period soon.  I thought the book was about punctuation, because the title had the word ‘period’ in it.  The book also talked about things like stuff you can use when you’re on your period, what to do if you get it while you’re at school or away from home, and other stuff about periods.  If you just want to talk to your daughter about this yourself, make sure you simplify your explanation to make sure she can understand it. If you want to read a book about this with your daughter, make sure the book is appropriate to her developmental level.  Social stories have also been known to work when teaching special needs kids about puberty.  After I read the book, I was SO excited to get my period!  It was my body’s way of saying, “You’re a woman now, Leanne!”  Every time I went to the restroom, I would look for it, and one day, there it was!

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Developing Daughters
Did you know that today, girls are hitting puberty at a younger age than ever before?

With the age of onset of puberty continuing to decline, many girls are starting this very confusing, hormonally charged phase of life extremely young. According to current research, 30% of girls will start puberty by the age of 8.

It is extremely important for parents to recognize these changes, even if they are subtle – and begin communicating regularly about puberty and menstruation. Even if they are not happening to YOUR daughter, there is a good chance they are happening to some of her elementary school classmates. The sooner you can begin the dialect, the easier the facts of life will be to understand for your daughter.

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Growth and developmentPuberty is a topic few parents feel ready to explore.  Regardless of your comfort level, it is important that you learn and pass along the basics to your son or daughter before puberty begins.  If your child has started school, then the information that follows is relevant now.

Ready . . . Set . . . Grow! 

Puberty is the phase of development when a child’s body transitions into an adult body, including the attainment of reproductive capabilities.  During puberty, children experience considerable change: physically, emotionally, cognitively and socially.  This article focuses on the physical changes. READ MORE… »

Say it again Last fall I had a conversation about menstruation with my then two-year-old daughter. I didn’t want to; I was forced. Some were amused by its content. Some inspired. Just the other night, the topic of periods came up again. Because I was having mine, and once again my daughter saw the string between my legs. What is a Period, MommyThe conversation started off exactly like the first time, but ended up going in a different, more detailed direction… “Somefeen in your butt, Mommy.” “We had this conversation before, honey. Do you remember? There is nothing in my butt. It’s in my vagina, and it’s called a tampon.” A look of recognition came across her face, and she nodded as if to say she remembered. And then she was quiet for a moment. I thought I was getting off easy this time. But… READ MORE… »

Tying shoesBack to School
It seems like the need to be prepared for a new school year arrives a little earlier each summer. Before the first day arrives, there is much to do and many items to buy including:

  • adjusting bedtimes and morning routines,
  • purchasing school supplies, and
  • choosing an outfit for the first day.

If you have a daughter in elementary school, there should be at least one more item on your list: puberty education.  While many parents imagine several years between their daughters learning to tie their shoes and needing to try on a bra, that gap is often much shorter. READ MORE… »

Your daughter has started her period.  Now, in the same place where the little girl with bows in her hair stood – is a pseudo woman.  It can be bittersweet to realize just how fast your daughter is growing up.  As a parent, it is extremely important to welcome the changes and to help your daughter transition into womanhood feeling accepted and loved.I don't want to grow up

It is also important to try and take a step back and realize what your daughter may be feeling.  For so many girls, the onset of menstruation comes seemingly too early in life.  Suddenly, they are dealing with extremely ‘adult’ things such as picking out bras and handling periods during a time in their life when they were perfectly comfortable dressing up Barbies and playing outside.  In your daughter’s mind, the start of her periods alerts her to the fact that she is in fact growing up.  And this realization can be both welcome and frightening for a young girl.

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It can be difficult to feel like you are one of the only girls in your grade that hasn’t started her period or hasn’t seemed to ‘blossom’ yet.  If you are what might be called a ‘late bloomer’ (I know, awkward term) it is normal to feel anxiety and worry that you are different, or that something is wrong with you!

Why-haven't-I-started-my-period and where are my boobsBut the best thing to do is put your worries aside – and realize that when it comes to puberty, there is no such thing as ‘normal!’  (Heck, you might even consider yourself lucky.)

Some girls start menstruating at the age of 8 or 9.  Others may not start their periods until they are 15 or even 16.  Some factors that can delay your first period are EXTREME exercise (meaning several times a week for several hours per day) and a diet that is lacking in vitamins and minerals.

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When does it start?
The majority of girls will experience breast development in elementary school.  While some will begin as soon as 1st grade, most girls are a bit older (8-12 years old).  The initial breast development, often called budding, is typically the first sign of puberty.

 

What should we expect?
Not only will things begin to look different, they also will feel different too.  Breast buds often begin as hard knots below the surface. The nipple and the darker area around the nipple, known as the areola, get darker and begin to poke out a bit creating a bump.  While one may appear before the other, it is only a matter of weeks or months until the second arrives.  Early on, it is also common for them to feel tender and/or itchy.

 

When do we shop for her first bra?
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Dads with developing daughters

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that your daughter is growing up. And for many fathers – watching their daughters hit puberty and go through so many changes so quickly is undeniably difficult. After all, this is Daddy’s little girl we are talking about.

Even so, it is important to know that in this day and age, 3 out of 10 girls are starting puberty at the young age of 8 years old. So what a daddy might see as his daughter pulling away from hugs and becoming increasingly self-conscious is really just a symptom of all the many changes that naturally come with puberty.

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Believe it or not, as a father – you play a huge role in how comfortable your daughter is with her own femininity.  Girls who have a loving, supportive, compassionate, and understanding father have been proven in numerous studies to have more self-confidence and perform better in school (and life!)

It’s easy as a father to sit back and allow mom, or another female role model to handle the particulars of periods – considering those things ‘woman’s stuff!”  The problem is that if a girl in the midst of puberty sees her father avoiding the subject or throwing his hands over his ears every time someone mentions the word ‘period,’ the girl can often feel like her father is not accepting her transition to adulthood.  And this can be a problem.

Remember that this transitionary time in your daughter’s life is confusing for HER too – and the last thing she needs is to feel unaccepted by those around her.

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