By Carolyn West
I live in a house full of girls. Actually, I live in a house full of three girls and one guy. That guy? My husband. He’s not too happy to be living in a house full of girls.
Boys, admittedly, get a bad wrap. They are wilder, harder to potty train, break things, get dirty and have stinky rooms. Girls, on the other hand, are supposed to be sweet and loving and like to wear pretty pink clothes. For the most part, this is true. Until puberty.
Around the time a girl turns 9… or in my house, 6, they become these little creatures you don’t recognize. While they look cute and innocent, there are hormones running rampant behind the façade. Don’t let them fool you.
My house of girls is a little like an insane asylum. There are individual rooms where little girls lurk behind closed doors doing heavens know what. When you open a door, you never know what you’re going to get.
One minute they are loving and devoted daughters. The next minute they are banshees screaming at you and clawing to get out. This is the face of a tween.
Having been one myself, I can relate to what they are going through. That doesn’t mean I like it. There are bad hair days more than good. There are stomach cramps and leg cramps and neck pain and headaches. There are phone calls after school, one right after another. This friend is mad at that friend. There are tears. Lots of tears.
I sit in my house of girls and like any parent, I feel frustrated by the drama. I wonder if I am handling any of this right. I know the aches and pains are just growing pains. I know the stomach cramps are the body’s way of preparing for menstruation. I know the tears come from hair growing here and there. It’s scary.
I don’t envy them their youth at this age. Change is never easy. As a parent, more importantly, a mother, all I can do is be there. Talk to them. Help them. Cry with them. Sit with them. Listen to them. It’s the single most important thing we can do for them.
They are going through it all with or without you. I would rather it be WITH me.
With three girls in my house (7, 9, 11) it is never easy. But we’re trying to embrace the crazy. If I could give out one piece of advice to parents of tweens, it’s this: let them know you are there for them. Let them know they can talk to you. Tell them. Tell them every day. You might think they know, but they don’t. If you haven’t yet heard the run-down about who did what at school to whom and which boy likes which girl… you aren’t talking enough. Because once they share with you the little things that happen every day… they will feel comfortable enough to share the big things with you. And at this age… it’s all big things from here on out.